Wonderings
Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't been in a certain place at a certain time? What you would be like, where you would be now? I do.
My mother died Nov. 4 1977. She was 38 years old. She had pancreatic cancer. How different would my life be if she had lived? Would I have looked the same? Sure. Would I have acted the same? Probably. Would I have grown up the same? No.
My mother and I are a lot alike. I don't know this, but I have been told. She loved to laugh and had a contagious laugh. She loved to sew and made a lot of my clothes. She had a big mouth, and it usually got her into trouble. She loved her family and friends and there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for one of them. I think she was pretty. She married my dad when she was 18 years old. Had Sheryl 9 months later. Then Susanne came 3 years later. My mother tried and tried to have me. She had several miscarriages and 12 years later I came along. I was the world to her. She was a hard worker. She worked in a clothing factory. She loved Elvis. The day he died my sisters and dad rushed to the hospital (she spent the last few months of her life there) to tell her about Elvis. They didn't want her to hear it from someone else. She was diagnosed with cancer in May and died in Nov.
I think I would have had a more peaceful life.
I think I would have been happier.
I think I would have been loved more.
With all that said, I think about my life now. My mother would be an awesome grandmother. My girls know about her. They know she was my mommy when I was little and she is in heaven. They call her Grandmother Grace. When I think about my girls, I wish they knew her. I wish she could sew their clothes and play with them.
It has been 29 years. I wonder about her everyday. I still miss her.
My mother died Nov. 4 1977. She was 38 years old. She had pancreatic cancer. How different would my life be if she had lived? Would I have looked the same? Sure. Would I have acted the same? Probably. Would I have grown up the same? No.
My mother and I are a lot alike. I don't know this, but I have been told. She loved to laugh and had a contagious laugh. She loved to sew and made a lot of my clothes. She had a big mouth, and it usually got her into trouble. She loved her family and friends and there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for one of them. I think she was pretty. She married my dad when she was 18 years old. Had Sheryl 9 months later. Then Susanne came 3 years later. My mother tried and tried to have me. She had several miscarriages and 12 years later I came along. I was the world to her. She was a hard worker. She worked in a clothing factory. She loved Elvis. The day he died my sisters and dad rushed to the hospital (she spent the last few months of her life there) to tell her about Elvis. They didn't want her to hear it from someone else. She was diagnosed with cancer in May and died in Nov.
I think I would have had a more peaceful life.
I think I would have been happier.
I think I would have been loved more.
With all that said, I think about my life now. My mother would be an awesome grandmother. My girls know about her. They know she was my mommy when I was little and she is in heaven. They call her Grandmother Grace. When I think about my girls, I wish they knew her. I wish she could sew their clothes and play with them.
It has been 29 years. I wonder about her everyday. I still miss her.
posted by carrie | 6:31 AM
2 Comments:
I am sure it helps you treasure every moment spent with your daughters....and at the same time to look forward to heaven where you can all be together again.
Those are precious memories. Your love for your mom probably makes you a better mom.
My mom passed away a year ago and my dad 37 years ago. It never goes away, I miss them both.
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